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The Truth About Narcissism and Codependency Relationships

The Truth About Narcissism and Codependency Relationships

Welcome to The Dr. Erin Podcast. This is a top spiritual psychology coach podcast to inspire and teach you how to transform your trauma, birth your soul’s purpose, and manifest your dreams. Learn the best coaching tips, spiritual advice, trauma healing, and metaphysical recovery secrets. I’m here to help you monetize your spiritual gifts and love your life. I want you to know that I’ve been exactly where you are and I believe in you. Together, we are awakening the world.
Hi, I'm Dr. Erin, doctor of divinity and the creator of the E4 Trauma Method®, world-renowned spiritual leader, master spiritual psychology coach, international best-selling author, and the 2020 Walden Wisdom award winner next to Oprah. Forbes nominated her as “11 Of The Most Inspirational Female Entrepreneurs To Watch On Instagram.”
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Learn the universal law of attraction, metaphysics, manifestation, spiritual psychology, past-life regressions, and spiritual awakening. This top podcast is created to provide support, education, self-development, healing, motivation, and inspiration. Spiritual trauma recovery is the key. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. www.soulciete.com


Welcome to The Dr. Erin Podcast. This is a top spiritual psychology coach podcast to inspire and teach you how to transform your trauma, birth your soul’s purpose, and manifest your dreams. Learn the best coaching tips, spiritual advice, trauma healing, and metaphysical recovery secrets. I’m here to help you monetize your spiritual gifts and love your life.  I want you to know that I’ve been exactly where you are and I believe in you. Together, we are awakening the world.  

Hi, I'm Dr. Erin, doctor of divinity and the creator of the E4 Trauma Method®, world-renowned spiritual leader, master spiritual psychology coach, international best-selling author, and the 2020 Walden Wisdom award winner next to Oprah. 

Dr. Erin is committed to bridging spirituality, science, and psychology. She is forging ‘New Thought Wisdom’ in the study of Spiritual Psychology; the study of how everything is created from Source at a soul level.

Forbes nominated her as “11 Of The Most Inspirational Female Entrepreneurs To Watch On Instagram.” 

Join Soulciété, and get certified as a Spiritual Warrior, Spiritual Entrepreneur, or get Accredited Certified as a Spiritual Psychology Coach & E4 Trauma Method®, Spiritual Psychology Master Practitioner, Master Teacher, or Doctor of Divinity.


Learn the universal law of attraction, metaphysics, manifestation, spiritual psychology, past-life regressions,  and spiritual awakening. This top podcast is created to provide support, education, self-development, healing, motivation, and inspiration. Spiritual trauma recovery is the key. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Transcript

(00:01):

This is first live from Los Angeles. Welcome to the Dr. Aaron show. We're all about manifestation transformation and breakthroughs. It's time to claim your birthright of prosperity, vitality and love. So grab your tea coffee, because together we're awakening the world. May you live your truth?

(00:18):

If you're somebody who has been dating or is in a relationship with the narcissist, or maybe you're with somebody who just seems really self-centered or maybe you are in a relationship that has ups and downs, you're on a roller coaster breaking up, getting back together, or maybe you're just in a marriage, even that where you just feel like you're not getting your needs met, that you are with somebody that you think if they just changed, then everything would be better. Then you want to listen to this podcast. I'm going to tell you today, what you truly don't want to hear. I'm gonna break it on down because guess what? I was in the relationship as well. I was codependent for years and years in and out of relationship, up and down, hoping and wishing and trying to change the other person, getting so obsessed with what it means to be with a narcissist and thinking something's wrong with them.

(01:13):

Let me fix and change them until one day, the truth set me free. So you want to listen to this podcast. This is the Dr. Aaron show. We come together to know the truth, live on spiritual principle and align with universal law. We truly know the truth that when somebody awakens you have a gift and message to bring to the world and together we're awakening the world. This is Dr. Aaron, Dr. O divinity training and developing spiritual coaches, spiritual practitioners, spiritual ministers teachers, and yes, doctors of divinity. So let's do this thing. You guys let's do this thing. So as many of you guys know I am a recovered codependent. I was in multiple dysfunctional relationships growing up with a mother that was also in dysfunctional relationships and a father as well. Both of them were totally codependent and, um, ended up getting into an abusive.

(02:07):

My first abusive relationship was in high school of all things. And, um, it was mentally abusive and actually got physically abusive. I ended up marrying somebody that I really had no business mirror and I didn't know myself. And, um, I thought something was wrong with him. I thought he was a narcissist and, um, so on and so forth, the story goes from there. And as you guys know, it ended up with my low was being engaged with a famous rockstar. That was what maybe a psychologist would say, a narcissist, a bipolar, uh, a borderline personality and so on and so forth. But I believe this, I believe that if you're listening to this podcast, if you are in a codependent relationship, a dysfunctional relationship, or even with a narcissist, that is because you truly desire to be a leader. And so, first of all, I wanna acknowledge you.

(02:59):

I wanna acknowledge you that you would not be going through what you're going through. If you weren't ready to master it, you would not even be given this masterclass called a narcissist. If you were not ready to master it and understand it. And I remember years back when I was, had been doing so much spiritual work and I was like, how could I be doing this much work for this many years and still into dysfunctional relationship? And it dawned on me because when we decide that we want to become masters, we have to go through that master class. Right? So today I'm going to break on down the truth of narcissism, the truth of narcissism. And co-dependency because it's like a coin. Okay. And on one side of the coin, there's narcissism and on the other side of the coin is co-dependency. You can't have one without the other.

(03:54):

It's impossible. So really I'm gonna break this down from a metaphysical standpoint. Okay. Because a lot of psychology these days has actually been kind of, um, it's been, um, it's been disorganized in that a lot of psychology looks at the behavior. Like they call it psychology behavior. Right? And they're looking at actually the effect they're looking at what people are doing with their behaviors. And in a true psychology is the study to soul, which we do in new thought global. And we do from a metaphysical standpoint is we actually look at what's happening from a soul perspective instead. Okay. So the reason why I'm doing this podcast is because I've had a couple, um, get togethers with girlfriends, highly evolved women. Okay. These are not dummies. These are not victims of the world. And I've had a couple meals and, and get togethers with very evolved girlfriends with them, basically being in completely dysfunctional relationships.

(05:03):

We're talking them, talking about their narcissist partner and them kind of knowing they're like, I know it's me. I know what I know. It's like, I don't believe myself, but they're still focusing on the narcissist. Okay. So this is a total pattern that whether you see it in yourself, whether you see it in your girlfriend or a guy friend or whatever it is that this is the pattern, okay. You sit down to lunch or dinner with your girlfriend and they begin to tell you how awful their partner is. Oh, well, he did this. Oh, well, he's addicted to porn or, oh, he, um, got really mad and was yelling at me for hours. Oh, he is selfish. And does X, Y, and Z. Okay. Their entire conversation is focused on the narcissist. Okay. Because that's what a narcissist does. A narcissist basically is self absorbs needs, attentions and admiration.

(05:52):

Obviously always gas lights and makes you the problem and, and points a finger at you. And then they slam you down. They wanna make belittle you as much as possible. So that you begin to question your own. Like you begin to question yourself and that you actually begin to feel like you need them because the same person that puts you down, if they give you admiration, then it begins to have like this psychological hold, right. They lack empathy. They're in troubled relationships. And they are, they basically are always needing to create drama to create the need because they're actually very insecure. Narcissists are extraordinarily insecure. In fact, they have no true identity based in divine, based in source. And so they get their identity from being needed out in the world. So they will cause a lot of discord, a lot of dysfunction just to get the attention.

(06:48):

So the opposite of that is the codependent. And the codependent basically will constantly be focusing on the, the narcissist or the dysfunctional per whatever they wanna call it. The person that is the problem of the relationship when actually it's equal and opposite because the codependent, instead of them focusing on themselves, it's actually cuz they have such low self worth and such low self value that they don't believe they're worthy of a, a relationship that is, that is peaceful. They don't believe they're worthy of having, you know, somebody that is they're equal. They don't believe they're worthy of, of having a loving kindness relationship. They're constantly feeling like they're not enough. And it's such a subconscious program that they think that it actually has nothing to do with themselves. There's a great concept. Guy. Richie, I think had a done multiple movies and you may know him or not.

(07:46):

He was used to be married to Madonna. And there's this one, this one film that's about these mobsters. And they're all kind of like, you know, killing each other and they're doing insanity things. And guy Richie has this, this quote in this movie where he talks about basically one day you realize that the only con is yourself. And I'm speaking to the codependent right now because you're conning yourself. You're lying to yourself. You're deflecting. Just like you say, the narcissist is deflecting. You are deflecting. The narcissist is your way of deflecting to yourself of you not realizing that you are actually the problem. The narcissist is just gonna do the narcissist. You are the problem. You're the problem in that you are hurting yourself by staying in it. You're the one who's deflecting and, and not showing up for your friends and your family. You're the one that's not taking care of yourself.

(08:51):

You're the one that's doing self abuse and self sabotage by staying in the relationship with the narcissist. And I say this because I love you. I'm speaking to my friends right now. I'm speaking to my friends right now. I'm speaking to my clients right now. I'm speaking to the people that I sit across the table from even two to this day that I see them ruining their lives by the relationships they're keeping themselves in. And I'm gonna say that for our culture, we have a codependent culture. And the truth is that codependency is the core of all spiritual discord because what true codependency is, it's placing the power outside of self. So whether you are codependent in your relationship with your narcissist boyfriend or husband, or whether you are codependent of looking to social media for all the stuff going on in the world and making yourself upset about what's going on in the world, it comes back to that.

(09:51):

The moment that we place our power out in the world is the moment that we become disempowered. And so for everybody that is dealing with codependency, because what actually happened and why we've created daily recovery calls in our community, radical recovery recovery, based in metaphysic science of mind, based in truth, understanding that what you believe and your soul in your subconscious mind is going to out picture. And whether it may be calling in the narcissist or calling in the bipolar partner or the dysfunctional relationship that nine outta 10 people have come into our community, don't even know what codependency is. And they realize, oh my gosh, this has doesn't have to do with my, you know, partner that's crazy or they're mean, or they yell or they're abusive or they're a narcissist or they this, or they that, or they, whatever that they realize that they can no longer be a victim.

(10:47):

They can no longer be the effect of that anymore. When they realize and wake up to the truth, may we know the truth and may the truth set us free, right? The famous saying it is done onto you, as you believe these are famous, famous truths, quotes and truths and biblical and all the above. Because what I know for sure is that truth is truth. And if the truth of narcissism is that codependency and narcissism is one and the same, our culture from a lot of the times, the women's aspect of our culture will make the, the, uh, perpetrator terrible. The perpetrator's awful. The man is awful. The narcissist is awful. Men are bad and wrong. That's a generality. Okay? Not everybody believes that, but that is a cultural belief. Okay? The cultural belief of men is shame and thinking that women are crazy or that women are the victims and their, um, controlling and all that.

(11:56):

Okay. They don't oftentimes say it verbally. Like the women say our side, right? In a cultural perspective. I'm not saying that I believe any of this. I'm saying that it is a cultural collective thing that we've got going on. It's time for us to wake up. Especially as women, we have to stop blaming. We have to stop blaming. We have to stop being the victims of people, a healthy person. If they met a narcissist, they would see the first red flag. And they'd say, thanks, but no, thanks. That's your issue. And I know my worth and I would never even give you attention, right? I wouldn't even give you my energy because I know who I am. And I don't wouldn't wanna be around someone that's self-centered and has no empathy. And that CRAs create chaos, right? A healthy person would know that because they'd know the truth of who they are and they wouldn't need to have the belief that love equals pain.

(12:57):

Love equals suffering. Love equals insanity, to feel like, oh, this must be love, right? Oftentimes we think, oh, if it's not like heart wrenching, that it's not love. If it's not like all encompassing and interpretating and completely enmeshing, it must not be love. Well that's because we have trauma at a subconscious level, which means that we have a limited belief, limited identity and a divided perspective of life. And that discord is our normal. And so today I say no more to all my friends that I sit across meals from to all my clients that I listen to. May we be set free? May we come to the truth of recovery and know that the narcissist is simply the projection and reflection of our own beliefs and our own inner work to be done. So I say, thank you to the narcissist, thank you to the bipolar.

(14:02):

Thank you to the borderline personality. I say, thank you to my ex. I give thanks and gratitude to him every single day in my prayers. I love him unconditionally. And I know healthy boundaries. I know whatever he is experiencing in this lifetime is a relative experience for him to know more of the divine that he is. I give gratitude for those dark dark nights. I give gratitude for that insanity of text that we'd send each other. I give thanks for him. Falling off the wagon and sleeping with other women and cheating on me. I give thanks because if it weren't for all of that insanity and his narcissism and him needing to have attention from every single human being and for him having to create insanity so that everyone would try and, you know, help him fix him, change him, all that, because he needed to be absorbed. He needed to have attention. He needed to have troubled relationships for him to feel like he was worthy of having energy. And in this, I know that the truth is you are not codependent. You're not a narcissist. None of you guys, you are divine spiritual beings and that whatever you believe your true identity is will out picture into your life.

(15:19):

Mary Baker, Eddie, the famous, uh, new thought movement teacher. She's actually not considered part of the movement because her, um, Christian science was a bit dog dogmatic and became, uh, not what we teach in new thought movement, which is open at the top, which is celebrating each individual expression. But Mary Baker, Eddie had a huge, profound effect upon our teachings in that she did teach truth. Okay. Truth is immortal. A error is mortal. Okay? The truth is you are not your relationship right now. You're not your dysfunction. You're not any of this false identity. Sin makes its own hell. Meaning. Sin is not something that you are. Sin is the misuse of energy. When we misuse our energy and create things like narcissism and codependency and dysfunctional relationship, we have living hell. When we go back to truth, when we know how to use our energy for good, we create heaven on earth. Okay?

(16:20):

DISE is an experience of so called the mortal mind, as she said, DISE is the misuse of our energy. Okay? So the DISE of narcissism, the dis disease of codependency, these are all not the truth. You are not that this is not your true identity. And that's why we love 12 step, but we don't do 12 step in new thought global. We use metaphysics of mine because you are not your identity. You're not your DISE. You're not your you're not labeled for the rest of your life. As a narcissist, narcissist can recover. Codependence can recover when they find the truth of who they are when they base it in, in spirit. So this is if I were to write the prescription, the prescription for a narcissist, the prescription for a codependent, because it's one and the same, it's one. And the same. If you point the finger at somebody, you become the effect of them.

(17:17):

If you hang around a victim long enough, you will become the perpetrator. Okay? You can't have one without the other. The prescription, the answer, the solvent for all codependency and narcissism is one thing. And one thing only, and it is to no longer place your value, your identity, your worth, anything out into the world. The answer is to go within and no longer ever make anybody your source or any situation, your source, the moment that you make somebody, your source of joy, you instantaneously make, 'em your source of suffering. You cannot have one without the other. Okay? So as a co-dependent, if you're looking for love, you're looking for that soul flame. You're looking for your soulmate. You will always be in the suffering because, uh, if you need somebody to complete you, that means you're not complete. And you will always find suffering forever until you realize that you are love until you realize that you are whole and complete, as you are, until you realize that that, that anyone in your life is a bonus to synergize and express with that's all it can ever be.

(18:32):

And so, as, as the, you know, traditional psychology medical term of narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder is one of several types of personal disorder is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind the mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable and slightest criticism, right? So you'll find that with the narcissist, if you criticize them whatsoever, they'll get triggered and they'll start making you wrong. They'll blow up. We call it walking out a shells, right? If we're with somebody that's a narcissist, we also become completely over, um, stimulated with, because we're like PTSD all the time, because we've been in huge arguments with the narcissist, they'll blow off the handle. They'll yell, they'll scream. They'll make whatever wrong because they can't handle any type of confrontation because they're actually, their self-esteem is so little, a narcissist personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school and financial affairs.

(19:41):

People with narcissistic personality may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they're not given the special favors or admiration, they believe they deserve. They may find their relationships unfulfilling and others may not enjoy being around them. This is the truth. If you're a codependent, if you keep talking about the narcissist, talking about your partner, what he or she did all their problems, no one wants to be around you. It starts to get old. It's like the broken record. It's never cry Wolf. Okay? If you keep pointing the finger at other people, people around you, the only people that are gonna be able to be around you are victims also because they're the only ones that are gonna be in that same conversation over and over again, healthy people will no longer wanna be around you after time, because it's it exhausting. And trust me, I know this because I was that person.

(20:32):

I was talking about my ex complaining about him, talking about what he did next. And, and slowly people are like, sweetheart, you gotta get help or look, I gotta go. Or the only ones that stay around here are other people that are in dysfunctional relationship because you guys are just like, you just love to sit around and complain all the time. And so this is the deal there's answers. I remember being so messed up from my relationship with the narcissist I had PTSD. I could not go more than like, and within an hour, I'd think of him. And what had happened multiple times. It was like constantly playing records because all the mental pictures of all the trauma were playing over and over in my head. And I can say that if you do your trauma work, if you get into recovery program, if you come into an, uh, community that deals with codependency or deals with dysfunctional relationship, you can heal.

(21:31):

I can honestly say with my entire heart today that I am free, that I live in peace, that I do not have upsets. That doesn't mean I don't have some hard days or, you know, not living completely and joy 24 7. But that means I am not dysfunctional, that I no longer look to the world for my source, that I no longer am trying to fix or change anyone. I'm no longer complaining about anyone. This is true freedom. I take responsibility for my life and my happiness. And no one is on the hook to make me happy or complete me. That is full recovery. The truth, knowing the truth of who you are, which you are a divine spiritual creator, and that you could create anything you want, love harmony, amazing relationships, empowered relationship, having incredibly, you know, incredible people in your life that no truth that take response way that no longer need to have discord or shenanigans or anything that this is a truth.

(22:28):

And that heaven is waiting for you right now. And so in this I to say, take a deep breath in, say a prayer for anyone out there that is still dealing in the suffering of the narcissistic and codependent cycle, the ups and down the Merry around the insanity, the hell on earth. I just simply know that there is truth and the truth will set you free as together we say. And so it is. And so if you, or someone, you know, is, is dealing with dysfunctional relationship or codependency, or you're an narcissist and you really are ready to recover. Um, we invite you, we invite you into our community. I would highly recommend getting trained in the coaching program because the coaching program, you actually get to actually do try calls and you get to actually do your own trauma work and you get to go into recovery calls every day of the week.

(23:18):

You don't need to be, um, in codependency, we have lots of people that are just in there because they are rising in their ability to get trained, to help people, you know, burn their purpose and legacy. We have all kinds of things, but if you're dealing with, um, codependency, which nine to 10 people have come into our program are dealing with that. It's not their focus. It's not our focus of our program, but is one thing that we've implemented for everybody. Because at some level, everybody deals with codependency, whether it be with their parents, whether it be with their child, whether it be whatever, whether it be with money, it's all codependency because you're dependent upon that for your joy. And so we release that, um, in powerfully in our programs. Okay. So have a beautiful day. If you got something out of this podcast and you have a friend that is dealing with any of this, please share it with them. It's really important. Narcissism is a huge con conversation and people wanna focus on the narcissist instead of taking responsibility for themselves.

(24:12):

So please

(24:13):

Share it out. Knowing this together, we will rise, have a beautiful day. And may you live your truth? Thank

(24:19):

You for tuning into the doctor, Aaron podcast. If you've had a spiritual calling or desire to get certified as a spiritual coach or a world renowned spiritual leader, go to new thought global.com. If you've received value from the show, I would love it. If you share it with a friend and give it a five star review. Also, we have spiritual practitioners that are trained to deliver the E four trauma method and assist you in birthing your truth. So let's be friends on social media. Again, my handle is Dr. aaron.tv across all social media, have a beautiful day. And may you live your truth?