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June 10, 2020

HOW TO HANDLE NEGATIVE PEOPLE & CHOOSE YOUR INNER CIRCLE

HOW TO HANDLE NEGATIVE PEOPLE & CHOOSE YOUR INNER CIRCLE

Welcome to The Dr. Erin Podcast. This is a top spiritual psychology coach podcast to inspire and teach you how to transform your trauma, birth your soul’s purpose, and manifest your dreams. Learn the best coaching tips, spiritual advice, trauma healing, and metaphysical recovery secrets. I’m here to help you monetize your spiritual gifts and love your life. I want you to know that I’ve been exactly where you are and I believe in you. Together, we are awakening the world.
Hi, I'm Dr. Erin, doctor of divinity and the creator of the E4 Trauma Method®, world-renowned spiritual leader, master spiritual psychology coach, international best-selling author, and the 2020 Walden Wisdom award winner next to Oprah. Forbes nominated her as “11 Of The Most Inspirational Female Entrepreneurs To Watch On Instagram.”
Join Soulciété Spiritual Entrepreneurs or get Accredited Certified as a Spiritual Psychology Master Coach & E4 Trauma Method® Coach.
Learn the universal law of attraction, metaphysics, manifestation, spiritual psychology, past-life regressions, and spiritual awakening. This top podcast is created to provide support, education, self-development, healing, motivation, and inspiration. Spiritual trauma recovery is the key. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. www.soulciete.com


Welcome to The Dr. Erin Podcast. This is a top spiritual psychology coach podcast to inspire and teach you how to transform your trauma, birth your soul’s purpose, and manifest your dreams. Learn the best coaching tips, spiritual advice, trauma healing, and metaphysical recovery secrets. I’m here to help you monetize your spiritual gifts and love your life.  I want you to know that I’ve been exactly where you are and I believe in you. Together, we are awakening the world.  

Hi, I'm Dr. Erin, doctor of divinity and the creator of the E4 Trauma Method®, world-renowned spiritual leader, master spiritual psychology coach, international best-selling author, and the 2020 Walden Wisdom award winner next to Oprah. 

Dr. Erin is committed to bridging spirituality, science, and psychology. She is forging ‘New Thought Wisdom’ in the study of Spiritual Psychology; the study of how everything is created from Source at a soul level.

Forbes nominated her as “11 Of The Most Inspirational Female Entrepreneurs To Watch On Instagram.” 

Join Soulciété, and get certified as a Spiritual Warrior, Spiritual Entrepreneur, or get Accredited Certified as a Spiritual Psychology Coach & E4 Trauma Method®, Spiritual Psychology Master Practitioner, Master Teacher, or Doctor of Divinity.


Learn the universal law of attraction, metaphysics, manifestation, spiritual psychology, past-life regressions,  and spiritual awakening. This top podcast is created to provide support, education, self-development, healing, motivation, and inspiration. Spiritual trauma recovery is the key. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Transcript

(00:01):

This is

(00:02):

First live from Los Angeles. Welcome to the Dr. Aaron show. We're all about manifestation transformation and breakthroughs. It's time to claim your birthright of prosperity, vitality and love. So grab your tea coffee, because together we're awakening the world. May you live your truth?

(00:21):

Live from Los Angeles. This is Dr. Aaron. We come together each day to know the truth, to live on spiritual principle and to align with universal law. We also come together in community in new thought global and society. We truly believe that when somebody awakens, they have a gift and message to bring to the world and together we are awakening the world. So today I want to talk about how to handle negative people and how to choose your inner circle. And I might offend some people today and I'm gonna break on down how I choose my inner circle. And we are going to talk about the benefits and really the intense side effects of having negative people in your life. They say that we are the sum total of the primary five people that in our, in our lives, we have to recognize that we're one and who we hang out with, influences us at such a core level at an energetic level, at a cellular level, and for sure at a level of how we innovate and what our conversation is and so on and so forth.

(01:31):

So this is such an important conversation because I used to be one of those people that didn't have any guidance around this. I didn't have any guidance around this. I had a lot of miscellaneous people in my life. I had a lot of chaos in my life, a lot of drama in my life, a lot of alcoholics in my life. Uh, and I just never understood that you can actually pick your people, that you can actually have standards for who belongs in your life, and that you need to be able to spot who really is somebody that, you know, belongs in your inner circle. And this doesn't mean that I don't unconditionally love everybody on this planet, but it's about putting boundaries. So if they are dysfunctional or if they are negative, yes, I would still take 'em as in helping them, if they wanted help as a client or in getting them help or whatever that is.

(02:28):

But I'm very clear of who my inner circle is and who really belongs and, and who deserves my energy. Okay. Again, I might offend some people on this and I'm, and I'm okay with that because it's taken me a very, very long time to recognize that my time is so incredibly valuable. My life is so incredibly valuable, and it is my self love of giving myself the gift to never put myself around anything that doesn't serve the highest. Good. So let's break this on down. You might wanna get a pen and paper out, and if you do find value in this, please share this with somebody, because I know there's probably somebody in your life that is majorly. Maybe you are majorly dealing with this, but maybe, you know, somebody else that's even more dealing with insanity in their life, in the people that are in their life.

(03:21):

Okay. So let's break this one down. So there's probably a huge, long, long list of different things of way of spotting, negative people. And like first, you know, you have to think, how do you spot negative people? Sometimes it's like, you just feel so incredibly drained after a conversation. Maybe you go to lunch with a group of people and there's somebody that is, you know, taking up all the energy. In fact, I just went to an event for a little celebration and there was, I think there was probably about 12 people and there was one person there. Um, this woman that literally almost kind of, for me, almost ruined the entire event because she was so negative and she was so self-centered and she literally dominated all the conversations all day long. And actually by the end of the night, she got completely intoxicated and had to be sent home in a car.

(04:11):

And it was really fascinating because I, I was actually like a little bit of a flashback of an old life of, of all the stuff that would've gone on. And it was a big blessing for me because I had remembered what it's like to have negative people in your life. And I made me so clear, um, that that is something that I will not have in my life. And I'm all about getting that person help if they want help or whatever that is, but they don't belong in my inner circle. That's for sure. In fact, that event is actually what propelled me to do this podcast. So I'm sure there again is many, many distinctions of how to spot negative people, but I'm gonna tell you maybe about 10 that I, um, spot and I can spot negativity a mile away. Um, and so the first one is constantly complaining.

(05:02):

You know, having that limited story around how, you know, how life is hard, how their ex you know, is so awful, how the economy is a doms day, how the weather isn't right, how the service at the restaurant is terrible, how everything right. They constantly are complaining no matter what, they're only looking through that lens of something is wrong here. And let me tell you how it's wrong and how not instead of how it's right. Okay. They're constantly going from, if you were to take the opposite of what gratitude is, they're constantly focusing on complaining, constantly focusing on the negative. Okay. Number two is they're victims. They're victims of their acts. They're victims of their parents. They're victims of the society. They're victims of everything. They're victims of the day they're victims of everything. Everything they talk about is how somebody did something to them or how it's not just, or how it's, whatever.

(06:10):

And this is very different than taking, you know, action and, and, and, you know, bringing equality to the world. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about true victimhood where everything is. They don't see their role that they're playing in all of it in life. Okay. Number three, is that they're constantly gossiping about others. Oh my gosh. I can't believe she did that. Oh my God, you can't believe like what he did. And he said this, and she said that and blah, blah, blah. And any, cuz anytime they look at life, they're looking at really being the effect. So they gossip, they gossip about their girlfriend that they, you know, their friend that they had to break up with. They no longer talk to because it was so negative and da, da, da, it's like, um, have you opened your eyes and see what you are?

(06:56):

You know what I mean? So it's a constant, constant, um, gossiping. If they, if they do about talk about others, they have an opinion and it's usually negative. Okay. They're not. When you ask about somebody who is, you know, and we'll go through that, what to spot in a positive person, right? So number four is they have chaotic lives. They have very chaotic lives, right? They have no schedule. You know, they go to sleep at 11 o'clock, one night and four o'clock the next night. Um, and there's not that doesn't mean everybody is negative that doesn't have, you know, sleep schedules. But in general, if somebody doesn't have a particular kind of schedule in their life, they generally are very chaotic people. You can also tell by how they treat their belongings, you know, are there purses a disaster? Is there, are there, are there cars full of crap everywhere?

(07:48):

Are there closets, jammed full of whatever. You can begin to spot how they treat themselves. Right? Do they get crap all over their clothes when they're having food? And they're like, whatever, like, do they lose things all the time? Do they break their phones all the time? You can actually spot this. Okay. You can spot negative people. Okay. It's not that these are bad spiritual beings. We have to get to the truth. These are divines. Everyone's a divine, spiritual being at the core of all of us. We're good. But we have to recognize that where they're at is they are spiraling in a way that they need to do their inner work and heal. Right. So we wanna make sure we're not taking on this baggage of our own. Okay. So that was number four is they have chaotic lives. Number five is they focus on problems and not solutions.

(08:40):

Okay. That means that they're always focusing on limitations instead of possibility, you'll find this. Right. So there's a lot of people I know that are extraordinary people, but they don't, they, they never start that business that they wanna do because they're always looking at why, why they can't do it instead of why they can do it. They're always looking at naing life. Instead of focusing on, you know, the possibility they constantly are, are looking at the problems instead of not the solutions. Okay. So I can sit with somebody like, you know, if I'm at a dinner party with people, I listen, I listen to their conversations and I know right away who somebody is that would even that I would even want my life at all because I can hear what they're saying. Are they talking about possibility or are they talking about limitations? Okay.

(09:30):

Number six is they have relationship problems. Whether it be with their partner, whether it be with their friend, their boss, their family, their whatever, they have relationship problems. Okay. And somehow it'll start coming out. Right. And you can ask 'em about their lives, you know? So tell me about your life. Tell me about your family. Tell me about whatever. And generally, if they have not done their inner healing, then for me, they really don't belong in my life and you can hear it in people, you know, they'll start bad talking their mom or bad talking, whatever, instead of having resolved already, like, you know, wherever they're, you know what, my family's amazing. We've gone through a lot and we've all done our healing, whatever that is. Like they have relationship problems. They will constantly find what's wrong and um, and always have some kind of something going on.

(10:22):

That's a problem in their life. Okay. Number seven is they're generally emotional roller coasters, right? And this sometimes takes a while to spot this with people. So if you start having a friend in your life and you see that, like, you know, they're high on life, everything's good. Da, da, da, da, my gosh. I'm so happy. Da, da, da. And then the next time, you know, hang out with them. It's like just feeling like really down. And, and it's hard, you know, this full moon really gets to me and like, you know, they're just, they're not able to regulate their emotions. They're emotional roller coasters and it's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. It's just literally that you have to understand that you're going to be having to manage that of just being around them and help walk 'em through it or help, you know, listen to the conversation of that problem.

(11:08):

So their emotional roller coasters and emotional rollercoaster are going to drain your energy. Right. So that's the next one? Number eight is they're energetically draining. You know, when you're around somebody you walk away more inspired or do you walk away feeling like you're slimed? <laugh>, you know, honestly, sometimes it's not that extreme, but you have to ask yourself, you know, is your energy getting better? Are you thriving a little bit more from somebody, you know, that is, is, is bringing more to your life or are they taking away from your life? Okay. And this is number nine, which is your life goes down. I remember a friend saying to me, years back back saying, you know, there's, there's only really one way to that. You know, there's only two distinctions of people in your life that your life's either getting, going up or going down with them in your life.

(12:01):

And so you have to look at the, at friends and negative people and say, you know, they might have an incredible, I had a friend years ago. She was amazing. I had so much fun with her. We laughed and laughed and laughed and we'd have these times we'd hang out. And it was incredible. But we also, there was a lot of dysfunction. And when I took a look at the whole picture of this human being in my life, my life did not go up because of this person. It generally would go down because there was, there was mood swings and there was ups and downs and she'd decide to like disown everybody in her life. And then she'd come back in and we'd have these magical moments. And then she'd disowned everybody. And it was like, she was just very chaotic and my life did not go up over the course of it.

(12:45):

It really did get worse. If you think about it. And number 10 is they're, self-centered, you know, they call you when it works for them. Instead of being a reliable friend and somebody for there for you, instead of only when it works for them. And they're always bringing the conversations back to themselves, they're self-centered, you know, and this doesn't make the distinction of their narcissist or anything like that. It just means they're self-centered, you know, and do you want somebody that's self-centered in your life? And the issue is you, is that either works for you or not. I do have friends that are, you know, friends that we may only talk once a year and it's amazing. And it's like, we never skipped a beat. So there's a time where people just are busy and there's nothing wrong with that. When you come back together, it's it's, it's okay.

(13:32):

Like you still get a lot out of it. You both love each other. Um, everyone's thriving. Everyone's doing good. That's different than being self-centered, you know, you call them, they don't call back. It's not like a, um, a equal kind of exchange going back and forth. So the other things you need to spot in people, and you need to ask yourself, you know, what works for you? What works for me is gonna be different for you in, in who belongs in my inner circle. Right? So number one again, is they constantly are complaining. Number two they're victims, number three, they gossip about others. They always find what's wrong instead of what's right with others. They're um, number four is that they have chaotic lives. There's no schedule. They don't treat their belongings. Well, they're just everything in their life's chaotic, right? Number five is they focus on problems instead of solutions, they focus on limitations instead of possibility.

(14:25):

Number six is they have relationship problems generally with somebody in their life. Um, it's that one boss it's like, oh my life's so great. Except for this one thing. Well, that one thing is, you know, is still affecting your time and your energy and everything. Right? Number seven is they they're emotionally rollercoaster. They're they're just up and down all the time. Number eight is they're energetically draining. And number nine is your, your life goes down because they're in your life. And number 10 is their self-centered. They don't call you back. There's no equal exchange. It's always about them. Okay. Always bringing the conversation back to themselves. This again, was this woman, the other day was like just constant. Anytime anybody at the table was talking about anything, she'd interject and be like, oh yeah, well, I, you know, it always comes back to her the entire time, right?

(15:09):

So we wanna know, you know, we wanna spot what, what it means to have somebody that is that. And then we wanna look at, so how do you spot a positive person? How do you, if you can spot a negative person, you should be able to spot a positive person, someone that probably is gonna bring your life up. Okay. So instead of constantly complaining, they're constantly like seeing the day and being so blessed and, and focusing on how miraculous the day is and how good things are. And they're constant complain constantly. Um, seeing the good, constantly bringing it back to gratitude. Number two, instead of their victims, they are always creating, they're creating their lives, they're creating and seeing how they can cause and create anything. And everything's possible, right? Number three is instead of gossiping about others, they're always, um, like talking about how wonderful people are.

(16:01):

You could ask 'em about, you know, their partner or about their parents or about, um, the community there. And they're gonna always tell you about how amazing they are, how great they're, how epic they are, how extraordinary their friends are. Right. They're gonna talk about all the great things. Number four, instead of, um, that they have chaotic lives. They're gonna have probably some structure. They're like, oh my gosh, I'm, you know, up to X, Y, and Z. I've been, you know, just, um, going about my day. And then I've been finding, uh, the balance by taking off and getting the vacations in my life. They're going to, um, probably, you know, have a timeline. They're gonna be like, okay, I'm a busy, I'm available from this time to this time, I'm gonna come to the event. But I'm, you know, I go home by 11 cuz I've got, I got a great day and I love my life and I'm gonna get up the next day.

(16:49):

Right. They have a schedule they're reliable, they're consistent. Right. They also respect their belongings. So they probably, you know, have very, you know, organized lives. Maybe it's not, you know, perfect. But it's organized, right? So number five is they focus instead of focusing on problems and not solutions. They're always looking at the solutions. They're innovators, they're constantly innovating and pivoting and creating and finding how they can do it. They're always asking how can I do it instead of how can't I do it. Okay. Number six in, instead of them having relationship problems, they're always seeking, they're seeking development. You know, they're, they're doing their inner work. They're doing their inner trauma work. They're, they're growing, they're reading the next book. They're discovering how they can make their relationships better. They're they're trying to accept the people in that. They accept the people in lives. They're trying to really break through everything and transform life.

(17:47):

As they know it. Number seven is instead of being emotional roller coasters, they're emotional regulators. You know, we all have emotional things that come up, but they're able to manage it. They're able, they've they've done their work. They know how to manage when they do have emotional stuff, come up. When, when the moon does come up, they have ways of dealing with it. They have a spiritual practice probably or some type of exercise routine or something to regulate their emotions. Right? So number eight, instead of being energetically draining, they're energetically inspiring when you have extraordinary people in your life and you go sit down with them for a dinner. By the end of the night, you are recharged, you're inspired. You've learned something new. You wanna hang out with people more. You know, this is the difference of spotting, negative people versus positive people. Okay?

(18:43):

Number nine is your life. Doesn't go down. It goes up, you know, every single time you're around your friends, you learn, you grow, you have new experiences. Your life gets better because you're friends, you're collaborating in business. You're helping each other, you know, how can I help you? Oh, you need something done. Oh, I have this friend that can help you do this. You're constantly collaborating, connecting and doing things. Right. And then number 10, they're not, self-centered when you sit down to a dinner with them, they're asking about you, they're asking questions about you. Instead of always bringing it back to them, they're inquiring. How are you? What what's going on with you? Tell me more, you know, they're not, self-centered they're, you know, when you call them, they call back they're it's, it's a, it's a, it's an equal exchange in your relationship. Right.

(19:33):

So I think it's so incredibly important to, to, to understand, you know, your deal breakers in your inner circle. How do you pick your people? You know, have you even thought, have you thought about that? It's actually something we do in society is, and that's really, I think that our, um, community inner circle, cause we do have a, a community called inner circle. And one of the goals, um, that, that we have for people that are coming in there for them to get clarity on becoming somebody that people would want as their inner circle, you know, some people need to make distinctions of other people. Some people need to do their own work. Some people are disasters, right. And you know, if it comes to addicts or narcissists or pathological liars, we really don't have a capacity to do that. Those are complete deal breakers.

(20:22):

As far as like, those people need to get professional help, they need to go do their inner work in society. We deal a lot with, with, you know, people, once they've come out of, you know, those, those really, really hard places that need professional help, but people that are really trying to strive to, to do their inner work, to no longer be victims, to no longer gossip to get their mind. Right. And, and practice living on principle. Okay. And believe me, I've been there. I have been that girl that complains I've been the victim. I've been the girl who gossips about others. I've been the one that has a chaotic life. I've been the one that looks at problems instead of solutions. I've been all of these things. Okay. The reason why I value all this is because I've been there. I know the difference of having extraordinary life versus a crappy life.

(21:07):

Okay. So how do I pick my inner circle? My, you know, everyone's gonna have deal breakers for their people in their life. There's, everyone's gonna have must haves and everyone's gonna have an ideal scene. Okay. I, we walk through this process in society, in leadership and in the, um, different, higher programs. But you know, how do I pick my inner circle? I'm very clear. I have a very clear definition. I only have extraordinary human beings in my life. My time is so precious that if you are not an extraordinary person, it's fine. But that means that you are a client. Okay. And all clients become extraordinary people. If they go fully through my programs, okay, you will walk away being, and knowing exactly living your truth and being extraordinary human being. Okay. But people that belong in my inner circle, like my people, like I have very, very small group of people that I talk to on the phone every day, not every day, but people that really belong as my true friends.

(22:18):

I only have people that are up to making a huge difference in the world. I only have innovative friends that are always looking at how to create extraordinary things in this world. I only have people that understand they're a hundred percent responsible for life. I only have people in my life that see the good and how it's all working for them in life. I only have people in my life that are energetically inspiring. I only have people in my life that are emotionally, totally being able to regulate themselves. And I only have people in my life that are, you know, not self-centered that are really about always asking what they can do for me. And I always ask what, how I can support them and everything. Okay. So you need to get clear of what your inner circle is. What does that look like for you?

(23:10):

And sometimes, you know, we're really just about getting the chaos out of our life, getting that out so we can have peace in our life. That should be our primary goal in life. To our minimum part in life should be able to have peace. If you're having upsets, you gotta handle it. If you're having upsets in your life, you need to not, of course you need to do your own inner work and everything, but you also need to get out the people of your life that are upsetting you. Okay? That doesn't mean that you cut all ties. You never talk to them again. That actually is very dysfunctional, but you put boundaries on them. They don't belong in your inner circle. That doesn't mean that you can't have them in your life at some distance. Okay. That doesn't mean that you have to make them wrong.

(23:54):

That means that they don't belong in your inner circle. Okay. And one thing I recommend is you can actually put in your phone, you can actually put what's in called your favorites. And I'd recommend beginning to put the favorites in your life of people that are extraordinary human beings. So you can start spending time and developing those relationships and nurturing those relationships and investing time and energy into those relationships. So more and more of your inner circle becomes to be the extraordinary people. Okay. So how to handle negative people and then how to really spot, um, you know, and create your inner circle, how to spot positive people, you know, how to, how to really spot extraordinary people. So this is probably one of the most important podcasts you'll probably ever learn in your life because I promise this is imperative. If you wanna have an amazing life, if you wanna thrive, if you wanna claim your birthright prosperity and have good health and, and live a legacy on this planet, you're gonna have to handle negative people.

(24:58):

And you're gonna have to pick an extraordinary inner circle. This podcast. I highly recommend that you listen to this over and over and over again, until you have cleared out your entire life. I recommend that you share this with all of your friends, because what's gonna happen is they're gonna start spotting their own shit. And they're gonna also spot and see how they need to get developed or how they need to start putting standards on their life. Okay. Please share this for your own. Good for their good for everyone's good. This is a, a game changer and a life changer. When I changed my friends fully, like I got out all of the dysfunction. My life is amazing. I do not have upsets. I do not have any upsets. Imagine a life where you don't have to get upset. Imagine a life where you don't have to get frustrated or pissed off at your friends or whatever it is, imperative that you do your own inner work and that you pick all people around you that are either doing their inner work or have done their inner work and are living extraordinary lives.

(26:04):

Making a difference in the world. I simply know this in mind. You guys, please like share comment. I would love, um, uh, testimonial on the podcast. It would be amazing if you have my book as well. Um, always helps to give reviews. You guys. Um, I really appreciate it. Okay. Have a beautiful day. And may you live your truth? Thank you for tuning in society and Dr. Aaron podcast. If you've had a call to be a spiritual leader or coach, you can go to soul society.com and check out our free training. If you receive value here, I would love it. If you take a moment and give a five star review in exchange, I have a ton of free gifts for you. Grab your free awakening book, 40 guided meditations and digital manifesting masterclass. I also have a free money, meditation and worksheet for you. So you can begin to break through your scarcity mindset and claim your birthright of prosperity. You can get all of your gifts and learn about our upcoming transformational events in my biolink in both Instagram and Facebook. That's under Dr. aaron.tv, which is D R E R I n.tv. Also, I'd love to invite you into our free private community on Facebook, under groups called society. That is facebook.com/for/society. That's S O U L C I E T E. Have a divine day. And may you live your truth?