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May 20, 2020

HOW TO GET OVER A BREAKUP & FEELING HEARTBROKEN

HOW TO GET OVER A BREAKUP & FEELING HEARTBROKEN

Welcome to The Dr. Erin Podcast. This is a top spiritual psychology coach podcast to inspire and teach you how to transform your trauma, birth your soul’s purpose, and manifest your dreams. Learn the best coaching tips, spiritual advice, trauma healing, and metaphysical recovery secrets. I’m here to help you monetize your spiritual gifts and love your life. I want you to know that I’ve been exactly where you are and I believe in you. Together, we are awakening the world.
Hi, I'm Dr. Erin, doctor of divinity and the creator of the E4 Trauma Method®, world-renowned spiritual leader, master spiritual psychology coach, international best-selling author, and the 2020 Walden Wisdom award winner next to Oprah. Forbes nominated her as “11 Of The Most Inspirational Female Entrepreneurs To Watch On Instagram.”
Join Soulciété Spiritual Entrepreneurs or get Accredited Certified as a Spiritual Psychology Master Coach & E4 Trauma Method® Coach.
Learn the universal law of attraction, metaphysics, manifestation, spiritual psychology, past-life regressions, and spiritual awakening. This top podcast is created to provide support, education, self-development, healing, motivation, and inspiration. Spiritual trauma recovery is the key. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. www.soulciete.com


Welcome to The Dr. Erin Podcast. This is a top spiritual psychology coach podcast to inspire and teach you how to transform your trauma, birth your soul’s purpose, and manifest your dreams. Learn the best coaching tips, spiritual advice, trauma healing, and metaphysical recovery secrets. I’m here to help you monetize your spiritual gifts and love your life.  I want you to know that I’ve been exactly where you are and I believe in you. Together, we are awakening the world.  

Hi, I'm Dr. Erin, doctor of divinity and the creator of the E4 Trauma Method®, world-renowned spiritual leader, master spiritual psychology coach, international best-selling author, and the 2020 Walden Wisdom award winner next to Oprah. 

Dr. Erin is committed to bridging spirituality, science, and psychology. She is forging ‘New Thought Wisdom’ in the study of Spiritual Psychology; the study of how everything is created from Source at a soul level.

Forbes nominated her as “11 Of The Most Inspirational Female Entrepreneurs To Watch On Instagram.” 

Join Soulciété, and get certified as a Spiritual Warrior, Spiritual Entrepreneur, or get Accredited Certified as a Spiritual Psychology Coach & E4 Trauma Method®, Spiritual Psychology Master Practitioner, Master Teacher, or Doctor of Divinity.


Learn the universal law of attraction, metaphysics, manifestation, spiritual psychology, past-life regressions,  and spiritual awakening. This top podcast is created to provide support, education, self-development, healing, motivation, and inspiration. Spiritual trauma recovery is the key. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Transcript

(00:00):

This is

(00:01):

First live from Los Angeles. Welcome to the Dr. Aaron show. We're all about manifestation transformation and breakthroughs. It's time to claim your birthright of prosperity, vitality and love. So grab your tea coffee, because together we're awakening the world. May you live your truth?

(00:20):

Live from Los Angeles. This is Dr. Aaron. We come together each day to know the truth, live on spiritual principle and align with universal law. Today. We're gonna talk about how to basically deal with gain over breakup and having no more heartbreak. So trust me, I know this one very well. We're gonna break on down some, the number one modality I use to heal from a major breakup and codependency, and one big hack that you've got to do. It's a spiritual practice to get over a breakup or get over heartbreak, whatever you're wherever you're at. So yesterday I was on a walk. One of the great things about this time right now is I've been able to go on these beautiful, incredible walks all through Beverly Hills and Bel air, and just go through these incredible beautiful neighborhoods. Um, getting outside people are walking and running and it's amazing.

(01:12):

And I met up with a girlfriend I haven't seen in years and years. Uh, dear friend of mine, we actually bonded years ago when we both were going through major breakups. And we actually were, I actually was, we were both in 12 step as well because we, it was so bad. Our breakups were so horrific. We were in relationships with, with alcoholic drug addicts, and we were like, what in the hell is going on? And it was this in beautiful, um, walk. We had all through Beverly Hills and as we're walking, I'm beginning to flash back, um, to then versus now. And I was like, oh my gosh, I'm, I'm so incredibly thankful for my sobriety, meaning not drinking. I have a rare drink on a rare occasion or something, but my sobriety from, from the dysfunction, from co-dependency, from, from the insanity that it was.

(02:04):

And I had always been a little bit codependent my entire life, not a little bit, a lot bit meaning that I would always place my value over in my relationships. My relationships were very tumultuous, you know, very typical codependent, not typical codependent in, I was not like one of the people that puts all of my, you know, um, all of my efforts into trying to get acknowledgement and admiration. It was more like I would lose myself in relationship. And I found myself in my low years and years back in a relationship with somebody who was an alcoholic and a drug addict. And I was like, how in the hell did I end up in this? And it ended up being in it for four years. And it was, it was my low of my life. It was worse. I'm kidding. I was, it was harder than having a stillborn child.

(02:46):

It was harder than dealing with, you know, uh, date rape in high school. It was harder than all the things I had got to in my life. It was the, to, it was by far the hardest thing I'd ever dealt with in my entire life. And we would break up and I, and it was like, I would go through withdrawals. It was literally like he was my heroin. Okay. And if you have, if you know anyone, or if you've ever been in a relationship with an addict, it's known because we have mirroring cells and things, you become an addict to who you, if you're with an addict for too long, you either become an addict to drugs and alcohol, or you become an addict to them. It's, it's just the way it it's metaphysics. It's the truth. Right? So we, so I remember, um, here I am walking through Beverly Hills with a girlfriend who we had bonded years ago.

(03:29):

We would, we would come together in lunch years ago or things. And we would just sit basically for, you know, two hours and complain about, you know, the, the men that we were with, what they did, how bad they are, what they said, what they text, how they got physical or whatever it was that happened. Right. And we would go on and on and on and energize it, energize it, energize it, and then we'd get to back together and we'd be like, oh my God, it's all good. It's working out. You know, it's all things he's changing. You know, he is doing his work, all this stuff. And then sure enough, we get back together and it was like, oh my gosh, we're broken up. It's over, I'm over this whole thing. He's a jerk. It was a, it was a nightmare. Okay. The reason why I am, who I am, who is so dedicated to this work is because of the insanity that I went through.

(04:14):

Okay. It's like, I truly believe that when you decide you wanna be a spiritual leader, you have to go through some dark, dark stuff in this life to understand, and to overcome it, to earn the rights of being a spiritual leader. I swear. I think it's like one of the sick, like, like gates of the universe. Okay. So here I am yesterday and we walking along in Beverly Hills and I'm flashing back to these times and I'm thinking, oh my gosh, thank goodness that I have evolved into the woman I am today. Thank goodness for the ending of all sanity. In fact, it's been years since I even get upset, I don't get upset. Like there's nothing to get upset about. Right. Like when you do your work, life really does turn into this heavenly place versus a hell. Okay. So when I was flashing back and I was thinking, you know, what is it, what was it?

(04:59):

That was really the thing. Cause I remember when we would break up, it was literally like withdrawals and I would make it, I would count my days and I would get to like day 20 and then sure enough, he'd come knocking on my door. And it was like the heroin out. If I just have one little hit, maybe it'll work out. Not so much. One little hit turned into him, moving in, you know, three days later and us saying like we're spending our lives together and then it would all get totally insane again. And this big breakup, it was a nightmare. Okay. But I was thinking about, okay, so the number one thing that really helped me heal from it is, um, is the E four trauma method, which I actually teach and train the girls in society now. And which is a process that I developed over years and years of dealing with metaphysical pro practices and Greek Oracle processes and all kinds of stuff coming to the spiritual process of E four trauma methods.

(05:48):

So that's the number one thing, because we recognize that it can be this person or the next relationship or whatever, but this person's just a reflection of what's going on in, in my soul. This person was a reflection of what was going on with me, which was low self worth, which was placing my value and my higher power over into my relationship and so on and so forth. So E four trauma method was the number one way, which was going back into the trauma of this lifetime and past lifetimes to really neutralize what was going on and what was projecting out, right? All of life is a relationship. And the ultimate relationship is within and all of the relationships are our ability or inability to love. And so they're just a playground for us to say, what's going on with me? It's no longer pointing the figure it's about pointing me, but let's get through this.

(06:28):

So how do you deal with breakup? How do you get over a, a breakup and then how do you overcome the feeling of heartbroken nest? Okay. Being heartbroken. Okay. So what's fascinating is I remember back in the day I was flashing back to this time and I remember all I would do is talk about my breakup, my makeup, my, the insanity. I would just, it was like, it was this obsession talking about it, talking about, talking about it. And I'll never forget a mentor of mine said, look, you've got, you've gotta discipline your mind. You've gotta take X amount of time a day. If you're gonna do your healing work, or if you're going to go in and, and do prayer work or meditation, and you've gotta have at very specific times of the day and go in for that hour or two and, and allow yourself to, you know, either whether you're with the spiritual, you know, coach or whether you're going into your daily spiritual practice, allow yourself that time to vent, to process, to do the work, to do everything.

(07:19):

But when you go out in the world, you have to have the discipline to say his name's not gonna come up and you're not gonna bring up the story because what happens is often time. And we've all been around people, including myself, where you've been around somebody that's had to break up and all they do is talk about it. They talk about him, they talk about what they're thinking. They talk about how it's never gonna happen. They talk about it, they talk about it, talk about it. And you're like, okay, cool. Like everyone around. He's like, I'm exhausted. And that was great to see you. Okay, cool. Right. So it's really important to get that if you keep, this is what we teach in metaphysics, right? Whatever we focus on expands and whatever, we don't focus on diminishes. Right. So I remember beginning to put this practice in place.

(07:56):

My mentor said, and it was really hard to do. Literally I could barely do it for more than like 10 minutes at a time. At first, he just kept all the mental pictures of the past things that happened and the cheating and the lies and the manipulation and all this stuff just would come in these mental pictures over and over again. So over time I would like, okay, for the next, you know, half an hour, I'm not going to bring up his name. I'm not gonna think about it. I'm gonna focus on something else here. I began to consume like guided meditations reading books that were of truth, you know, focusing on giving service and so on. And what I'd recognize is, is the muscle would build a little bit more, a little bit more each day. I was able to not focus on it as much.

(08:34):

And I remember the day that I was like, oh my gosh, I don't think I spent, I don't think in, in this entire day I thought about him, right. I was like, oh my gosh, it's a miracle. And then that one day turned into one week and that one week turned into a month. And I was like, oh my gosh, I never even knew if I would ever be able to get to the place where I was able to be free of the mental insanity. Right. So we have to recognize and ask ourselves, what are we gonna do? Right. How do we heal from a relationship? So first we have to know the truth, that trauma minus emotion equals wisdom, trauma minus emotion equals wisdom. So no matter what happened, if it was traumatic in that relationship, or you've had trauma before that relationship, we have to neutralize and get the emotion and the charge off of whatever happened in that argument, in that fight, in that whatever to free you up so that you can just have wisdom.

(09:27):

We begin to see, oh, I see what was going on there. I see how I actually created that by choosing somebody that was dysfunctional. I begin to see how, you know, I realize that the same thing was showing up again and again, in, in multiple relationships, things like that. Right? So we, we wanna be able to do the emotional work, the emotional trauma work, so that we're freed up. So we begin to have more wisdom, new insight, new perspective, taking full responsibility and so on and so forth. And that's, that's the number one thing and more sure by a long shot out of everything I did for sure. The most important thing is doing my emotional trauma work to get over the heartbreak and the insanity and the feeling heartbroken and realizing that love just is love is only love. It just is right. That dysfunctional relationships is actually a playground for you to learn how to love yourself more.

(10:13):

Right. The second thing that I had to do was discipline my mind. So we've all again, had our girlfriends or our guy, friends or ourselves, where all we do is talk about the breakup. We talk about the insanity of our relationship. We talk about the makeup, the breakup, that what he did, what she did, that he said she shed and all that stuff. Oh my gosh. And you call up your girlfriend. You go to lunch, you're complaining your, you know, all this stuff. And all you're doing is energizing, energizing, energizing, and everyone around you like, oh my God, let me get away from this person because all they're doing is complaining. And I feel like I just got slimed. Okay. So we wanna really make sure that we discipline our mind. Again, if you're dealing with a heartbreak, it's important to say, first of all, it's of course you gotta decide, are you really wanting to get over this heartbreak?

(10:55):

Are you really wanting to get over this dysfunctional relationship? Well, then you gotta discipline your mind and not focus on it. You gotta only take the time. Maybe it's morning an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening that you allow yourself to take the time to vent, to journal about it, to do some trauma work, to work with your spiritual coach or whatever that is. And then you've gotta discipline your mind, like a muscle. And I was talking to my girlfriend yesterday when we were walking and she said, yeah, I've been running all the time. You know? And I was like, oh my gosh, how I can barely run. You know, it's like some, I used to be able to run for a really long time. And now I'm only being able to run for like, you know, X amount of minutes and I've gotta stop and then start again.

(11:30):

And I was thinking about the metaphor of what that is in this, right? So when you first start jogging, you basically can barely jog. You might only be able to jog for like four minutes and then you gotta stop for a few minutes and then you gotta start again. Right? It's the same thing with building the, the muscle. If you will, of getting over heartbreak of getting over the drama of getting over the aspect of, of a dysfunctional relationship, you've gotta discipline your mind and say, I'm not gonna talk about him or her for the next, you know, hour. And maybe that's really hard that first time you're like, I just, my, all the mental pictures are coming in. How do I not talk about this? My story, my drama, da da, da, da. Right? So you gotta do it like a discipline. And then all of a sudden you're like, okay, I'm gonna next time.

(12:08):

I'm gonna do it for two hours and so on and so forth. And you build this, you build, build, build this muscle of focusing on what you do want in your life. What are you creating? Maybe you're into art. Maybe you're into working out, maybe you're into, you know, uh, whatever it is you're creating a business, whatever that is for you begin to focus and say, for the next hour, I'm gonna do this instead of focusing on the drama and the, and processing this breakup over and over again, because here's the deal. The only way that trauma and drama can stay on your track literally is by you having meaning around it and a story around it. Okay. That's why in the E four trauma method, what we do is we go in and we re-experience what occurred and, and we neutral. We literally just experience it.

(12:52):

And when you fully experience emotions without resistance to it, without a meaning around it, without any of that, you literally neutralize the, the emotions, the mental pictures around it, and you as is it. And we wanna feel the emotions fully without putting mean around it. But the more we put mean around it and story around it, it will begin to energize it and keep that trauma and that drama and that negative charge on the mental picture. So the takeaway for me is I just am so incredibly thankful. I'm so incredibly thankful for the freedom that I live today. The freedom of having no upsets, the freedom of knowing that love is who I am. And whether that be in a relationship that's forever, or whether that be with the extraordinary community, or maybe that's with, you know, having multiple more partners over the course of my life.

(13:39):

I recognize that the most important thing for me is my connection to source and the connection to self love and the connection to really serving for the highest good. And so I'm so thankful today to be able to be a woman that can honestly say that I have no dysfunction and no codependency in my life. And it is the, the, the most thing I value it more than anything today. And I just know, and the pain, and I really say a prayer as together. Let's actually have a prayer. I wanna do a prayer for anybody out there suffering in their relationship, suffering in that heartbroken ness, suffering in the codependency, suffering in the insanity. I know what it's like. I do not judge it. I know the pain. I know the torment in your soul. I know that the, you know, the withdrawals that you can go through, it is a living hell.

(14:25):

And I just want you to know that there are answers. You can heal from this. If I could heal from it, you can heal from it. I promise you. Okay. So let's just take a deep, deep breath into the nose and exon out through the mouth. And I just wanna start with gratitude. I am so thankful for today. I'm so thankful for my, for my freedom. I'm so thankful for the piece that lives in me as me. I'm so thankful for all the lessons that, that past romantic relationship that was totally dysfunctional taught me. I'm so thankful for all the discord in my life. I'm so thankful for all the suffering I've been through. I know that without that, I would not be able to have compassion that I have for other people going through it. Now I recognize right here. And right now the power that be the same power that can create total heartbreak, total, total PTSD, total, like not wanting to live.

(15:16):

I recognize that same energy can also free you and have you living a life that you love unbounded unconditional in every aspect of it. I recognize right here, right now, there are answers. There are communities. There are people that are fully in committed to loving themselves and bringing love and harmony to the world. I simply know it is a decision. It is your birthright. And we know this as together we say. And so it is okay, you guys, if this is the first time, um, coming on here, listening, whether you're listening on, you know, social media or on my podcast or on any of the Roku or iOS or anything out there, I just wanna say, welcome. Thank you so much for taking the time to invest in yourself. Um, I'm all about expanding consciousness as a doctor of divinity and a new thought minister.

(16:04):

It is super important and the highest value and time spent for me is expanding consciousness. To recognize that as we expand our consciousness, we allow the truth of the universe to stream into our soul and allow us to become the prophets that we already are turning on our supernatural powers. That really are our birthright claiming our birthright of prosperity and vitality and love. And so I know today as you tune into your higher self, everything is possible. And so you can find me across all social media as Dr. aaron.tv, and you can also check out the community society. We are committed to basically empowerment, enlightenment, and entrepreneurship. We truly believe that when somebody awakens, they have a gift and message to bring to the world and together we're awakening the world. So have a beautiful day. You guys, and may you live your truth. Thank you for tuning in society and Dr.

(16:56):

Aaron podcast. If you've had a call to be a spiritual leader or coach, you can go to soul society.com and check out our free training. If you receive value here, I would love it. If you take a moment and give a five star review in exchange, I have a ton of free gifts for you. Grab your free awakening book, 40 guided meditations and digital manifesting masterclass. I also have a free money, meditation and worksheet for you. So you can begin to break through your scarcity mindset and claim your birthright of prosperity. You can get all of your gifts and learn about our upcoming transformational events in my biolink in both Instagram and Facebook. That's under Dr. aaron.tv, which is D R E R I n.tv. Also, I'd love to invite you into our free private community on Facebook, under groups called society. That is facebook.com/groups. Slashie that's S O U L C C I E T E. Have a divine day. And may you live your truth?